Visiting Hours (1982)
Visiting Hours is a Canadian thriller with hints of slasher elements. The acting is terrific and stalker Colt Hawker (Michael Ironside) is creepy as hell. The claustrophobic atmosphere and surprising cameo by William Shatner, make Visiting Hours an underrated film, despite its shortcomings (no boobs, no blood).
Hospital Massacre (1982)
A Valentine’s Day treat! Sliding comfortably into two horror sub-genres (medical slasher & valentine’s day slasher), Hospital Massacre is as ridiculous as it sounds. The opening sequence is a flashback to Valentine’s Day 19 years previous and puppy love is in the air. Fortunately for us, hearts get broken (literally).
Barbi Benton, 80s Playboy bunny and Hef’s former girlfriend, plays the final girl waiting for test results at the dankest hospital you’ve ever lit a cigarette at. Then, someone tries to kill her. Good enough for me.
The Last Slumber Party (1988)
Completely unrelated to the Slumber Party Massacre trilogy, The Last Slumber Party is a painfully cheap little gem; no boobs and all the kills are the same. However, if you can fight through the initial shock of seeing such a poor quality film, you’ll eventually get with the program and find many small rewards.
The only reason this film work is the likable characters. The girls are sweethearts, but they like to drink, cuss, smoke weed and fool around. These girls are great. And the dudes crashing the slumber party are so goofy. All these kids are hilarious and when they start getting waxed, it’s a bummer. One of the very few films when you want the characters to make it out alive.
The parking lot scene is solid gold. I’ve watched it about 15-20 times and it always makes me laugh. Throwing empties at the scooter-riding nerd, “Science”?! What else do you want?
So, bring your friends and GET THERE EARLY! And don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.
Start a holiday tradition like no other. Three holiday horror classics sliced and diced down to a power-packed 2 hours. Plus, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!
Iced (1988)
This straight-to-video snow ski slasher is a special little film; and much like skiing, this thing is best when drunk or stoned. Iced is the type of movie that get better with repeated viewings. If that’s the criteria for a great film, this might be a masterpiece… of shit.
In terms of traditional filmmaking, it does everything wrong. However, for a slasher film, it does everything right. When these two polarizing forces collide, a huge explosion occurs and cocaine rains down on the entire film… Iced is born. Don’t eat the red snow.
Christmas Evil (1980)
A really great, well made film, even with its ridiculous premise and even more ridiculous ending. Basically, Christmas Evil is a character study of a righteous man slowly going insane, and eventually believing he’s Santa Claus. This innocent delusion suddenly becomes dangerous and naysayers who don’t believe get waxed.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 (1987)
This movie gets universally dogged for being one of the great rip-offs in film history. And rightfully so. Almost half of its runtime are clips from the first film! It’s shameless; yet awesome. You see, SNDN 2 essentially makes the original obsolete. All the good stuff from the first is here, plus new stuff. The combination of the two creates one of the largest body counts I’ve ever seen.
If you don’t treat the original like sacred art, you’re sure to enjoy this money grab. Terrible acting. Groan inducing one-liners. Unique kills. This is a really fun movie and a true crowd-pleaser.
We’ve finally made the leap outside our friendly hometown state of Texas and our first stop is historic Winchester, Virginia. The first show will be Wednesday, December 23rd at the brand-new Alamo Drafthouse. More details follow next week.
This will be an important show for many reasons. Most importantly, we need to prove Horror Remix can be successful outside of Texas. If that’s the case, our screenings could start popping up all over the country (including your hometown).
If you know anyone who lives in north Virginia or west Maryland, please tell them about this show. Your efforts would be greatly appreciated.
Yes, yes ya’ll. Zombie films. The formula is very simple; an environmental catastrophe occurs in the opening sequence and for the next 90 minutes, the living are trying to avoid a zombie attack. It’s a rock-solid formula that’s extremely popular, but unfortunately most zombie flicks lack an inspired punch. However, every few years someone dares to inject some life into a mostly stale genre. Not necessarily groundbreaking; it just seems the filmmaker gives a shit. Those are the zombie films we love. Just because zombie films are brain dead, doesn’t mean they can’t have heart.
The Video Dead (1987) The Video Dead starts off with a wacky premise and presses on a path that is hilarious and occasionally frightening. With tongue firmly planted in cheek, The Video Dead should probably be considered a horror-comedy. Normally, Horror Remix finds this sub-genre repulsive. In trying to be both, they accomplish neither. But this is no cartoon like you may find in the Evil Dead series. The comedy lies in the weirdness of the premise and the wacked-out situations the characters find themselves in.
The Video Dead walks the fine line between comedy and horror like no other. Why this film succeeds while others fall flat, I can’t say. The biggest mystery is why this classic is not on DVD. Damn shame.
FleshEater (1988) FleshEater is about as straight forward as a zombie film can be. From beginning to end this is a zombie blood bath and nothing more. No cool twists. No undercurrent of social commentary. No irony. However, with the obvious budget constraints, this bright-eyed film truly goes for it. It steps on the gas, blows it out and never looks back.
FleshEater’s attempt to stick rigidly to the formula and play it simple somehow works. Maybe the entertainment lies in the casting of locals and goofy-ass teenagers. Hey, this is classic 80s, plus it’s got a massive body count. There is no doubt that these guys put everything they had into this movie and you gotta love that.
Notable Actor: Bill Hinzman (Night of the Living Dead, the Majorettes) also writing and directing FleshEater!
So, bring your friends and GET THERE EARLY! This is a Friday show, so I’m hoping for packed theaters. And don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. SO BAD… IT’S GOOD! and FREE!!!
RUSH was the first remix theme picked without having a good idea which films I was going to show. But, knowing there were tons of fraternity / sorority horror films to choose from, the big question was “How will I choose only 3 films?” Well, apparently that wasn’t a problem.
First, let me show you all 14 films I saw preparing for this screening.
Dreamaniac
Sorority House Massacre
Sorority House Massacre 2
Killer Party
Pledge Night
Hell Night
Blood Sisters
House on Sorority Row
Silent Madness
Rush Week
Sisters of Death
Final Exam
Night of the Creeps
Happy Hell Night
Looking at that list of films, a trash film fan may think they are on the brink of awesomeness. No. This experience was far from awesome. More like work…really boring work. None the less, after 20 plus hours of video dumpster diving, I did find 2 hours of gold you are sure to enjoy.
First, I want to give a few dishonorable mentions to the films left out of the screening, akaLeftover Meat™. First, a big “bite my ass” to my nemesis, Dreamaniac (1986), for being boring and uninspired filmmaking. And for me, those are the worst adjectives to use for a film. I’ve always said behind every good horror film is a big bag of coke. Unfortunately, this theory only works if the filmmakers spend the movie budget on the movie, not the drugs. The whole damn thing takes place in an apartment and you can just imagine no one left the building during the whole shoot. Another dishonorable mention goes to Blood Sisters. Painfully boring. I dare anyone to watch this without hitting the >> button. Let’s move on to the good stuff…
Night of the Creeps is actually a perfect 80s horror film. I wouldn’t touch it. Highly recommend everyone check this out when it finally comes out on DVD this fall.
Final Exam, Rush Week, Pledge Night and Happy Hell Night all have something good to offer. But, I decided to scratch all the fraternity films (obvious reasons). The rest of the selections will be featured in RUSH at some capacity and featuring these 3 classics…
Killer Party (1986)
Killer Party never had a chance. While filming in the early 80s, the studio pulled the plug. A few years later they finished filming, supposedly cut out all the gore and released it in theaters. Around 1986, it was released on VHS, still cut. And that was that…what a cursed movie.
More than any movie, you can feel the juggling from one producer to the next. One director to the next. The beginning is a perfect example. Because of 2 fake openings sequences (a-drive-in-movie-within-a-music-video-within-a-movie) the actual film doesn’t start for 10 minutes (in a 91 minute movie)! It’s obvious these false starts are just leftovers from the earlier failed production.
The remaining 80 minutes feels like 3 different films. Same plot, same characters, but you can just feel the gears shift. First section is a screwball comedy, complete with hot tub babes and horny frat boys. This is very good. However, an hour goes by and there is no evidence that Killer Party is a horror film. Every time they build the suspense, the payoff is an impossible to conceive April Fool’s prank, which would be cool in a screwball comedy. But in a slasher, the film needs to deliver bloody bodies by the hour mark.
Next, the slasher section begins… and it sucks. As stated before, the only release of this film is believed to be heavily censored. Who knows, this section could have been insane, especially considering the murder weapons include a hammer, spear, trident(!) and guillotine. But the constant cut-aways are frustrating and you just know the next victim will be you; death by a kick to the peanuts. Finally, 10 minutes left and I start to feel something… Is this a touch of fear I’m experiencing? Hey wait, a horror film has broken out! Finally!
Notable Actor: Elaine Wilkes (Sixteen Candles)
Hell Night (1981)
This is a classy, big budget horror film. Really well filmed, beautiful sets and costumes. Nice, lush soundtrack too. Horror Remix disapproves of this. Thankfully, on the heels of Friday the 13th, the influence of the cheap-thrills-teen-slasher occasionally appears (which I believe was because of studio pressure - hey, “the man” was right)!
The only time this movie jumps off is when it dives in the gutter; sex, booze, pills and a few good kills really work, especially in the context of a well made film.
Notable Actor: Linda Blair (The Exorcist)
Notable Writer: Randy Feldman (Tango & Cash)
The House on Sorority Row (1983)
Just yesterday Horror Remix received the news that The House on Sorority Row was being remade. On top of that, the film drops Sept 11th, two days after this screening. For a couple of hours I started thinking about what film I would use to replace The House on Sorority Row. I just didn’t want anyone to think Horror Remix was associated with, or capitalizing on the remaking of this film. Frankly, I ‘m surprised this film is being remade. Oh well, I’m still going to screen the original. Maybe this will deter a handful of people from seeing the remake. If that happens, then I’ll be glad I stuck with it.
The House on Sorority Row is a really cool and clever film. Plus, sexy ladies, beautiful sets and lighting. It looks amazing. The only criticism is the pace. It’s really, really slow. That won’t be a problem on the remix. You may want to see the rest someday.
Notable Actor: Eileen Davidson (The Young and the Restless)
George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (1978) was the first film to draw parallels between the American consumer and modern zombie. The plot of zombies invading a shopping mall delivers a subversive attack on American consumer capitalism. 30 years later, Dawn is still just as relevant and regarded as a masterpiece. However, what more can be written or said regarding the importance of Dawn? There are already essays and websites written by much smarter people than me. So, I’ll focus this article on what I know best: teens being brutally murdered at the mall.
The shopping mall does make for a great setting in the slasher genre. A claustrophobic building scenario (later perfected by Die Hard), plus tons of resources for hiding places, escape routes, and tools for creative kills.
Plus, the shopping mall and horror genre make great companions. Both pander to teenagers with disposable income and are notorious for peddling cheap commodities. Each of the 3 films featured in Shopping Remix make some veiled attempts to be satire, invoking consumerism, security, technology and progress. However, the half-hearted rhetoric is squeezed in to make the films more than they really are. Bottom line, the “trapped-in-the-mall” scenario is ripe for slicing and dicing teens in the 80s (similar to “lost-in-the-woods” in the 70s). Let’s leave the groundbreaking allegory to the rest, because slashers at the mall are the best!
The Initiation (1984)
A sorority’s initiation ritual forces pledges to break into a mall and stay overnight. The Initiation is a highly underrated film and the best of the mall slashers. The characters are well written and the ending has a nice payoff. Unfortunately, the “mall” they are trapped in is NOT a mall at all. It’s actually the Dallas World Trade Center. This can be somewhat distracting as you wonder, “Where’s the Orange Julius? Where’s the Chest King or Miller’s Outpost?” But no big deal, just a little odd… Notable Actor: Daphne Zuniga (The Dorm That Dripped Blood, Melrose Place)
Hide and Go Shriek (1988)
Teenagers play a game of hide and seek overnight in a furniture store. Hide and Go Shriek will best be remembered for how incredibly horny the teenagers are. These people can’t keep their hands off each other. The over-the-top acting is the film’s best asset and we get one of the most realistic severed heads in horror history. Damn, it’s nasty… Notable Actor: Sean Kanan (The Karate Kid, Part III)
Chopping Mall (1986)
A group of mall co-workers stay after closing for an all night party. Chopping Mall is a classic crowd-pleaser. A very rare sci-fi slasher peppered with 80s goofiness. As good as that sounds, you won’t be disappointed. And if you’ve already seen it, it’s even better with Chopping virgins and some beer. Notable Actor: Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet)
So, bring your friends and GET THERE EARLY! I’m hoping for big summer crowds and I don’t want the true fans to get shut out. So, please arrive 9:30pm at the latest!!! Finally, don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.
If you're a fan of shitty horror films, then you've wasted a lot of your life. You've sat through lame red herrings, endless chase scenes, shower scenes with NO nudity (it happens more than you think) and all the talking and talking and talking...
A Horror Remix is taking a bad horror film, cutting out all the filler and condensing the central plot, gore, cheese and nudity into approx. 30-40 minutes.
This blog will post video podcasts and announce screenings of these condensed trash/cult films from the 70's and 80's. Currently showing at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin (Lake Creek), Houston (West Oaks) and Studio Movie Grill (North Dallas).
